so went to austin this wknd for earl's bday it was fun! emotional but fun...met new friends and cant wait to go bak home for maymester! so yea...almost there...almost time to graduate and then...free for a lil bit of time.

i slowly feel like giving up on everything i had with him..but theres something inside of me that says, "juss hold on a lil bit more..it'll be worth it the end!" i dont know..i miss the way he looks at me...i miss the way he takes care of me...i miss the way we use to talk on the phone..I MISS EVERYTHING! but its hard to know he doesnt see me the way i see him...why?  unfortunately i lost my favorite pillow too over the wknd which use to belong to him and i dont know if it a sign to "let it go", but i was extremely sad that day! i was planning on giving it back but not actually losing it! its kinda like wen u loose a security blanket kind of thing..he says that he still cares for me, but i believe thats hard to believe. i don't know...ive had other guys try to holla, but no one compares to him..i JUST WANT HIM!...bein practically married sux...i envy all my friends that have made their relationship go on more than mine..i feel like "where did i go wrong!??" i know ive done my bad within these lasst couple of months, but i thought i should explore for the time im wasnt wit him, and then i realized wat i wanted, but maybe its too late! it just keeps going back forth..how about him? does he even love me..NOPE! does he care for me...NOPE! does he wana be wit me...NOPE! so wat the hell am i doing...who knows anymore. i cant pursue another relationship until im done wit him, which will be a REALLY FREAKIN LONG TIME!!!! i juss pray that maybe one day that it will be him and i again...

wow...it's been awhile...!

lol..so yea..i've been M.I.A for awhile off of xanga bc got caught up in the myspace scene and all.

so to let everyone know wat i've been up to..

i graduate this august with my BS in Psychology and WILL BE MOVING BAK TO HTOWN! yup movin bak and will be there for about a year until i find a grad school to go to! other than that i work at the TWU golf course and juss try my best to keep myself bz!

as the love life part comes along...IT SUX! lets juss say i found someone good, but had to let it go for now bc there are juss some things i cant get over! ugh...and wat bugs me more is that only time will let everything go..or so my friends have been saying! i dont know wat to do...it sucks being in this depression BS but yea...time will heal all wounds!

i've lost weight from doing goodphil stuff and hope to get a dancer body again so maybe i can do more dancing wen i move bak. I honestly wanna do go-go dancing or somethin bc its fast and easy money. i could dress a lil scandalous but NOT LIKE A HO! OK...thats all for now! so yea..